The Madcap Laughs

Well, everyone is on the lace bandwagon, eh.  I'm seeing lace patterns all over the blogs.  And of course, Wendy's Summer of Lace has started to perpetuate the madness.  I love working on my Flower Basket Shawl.  Can't work on anything else right now. But while knitting it on the Metro this morning, I was contemplating why I get so excited about knitting lace but dislike at the same time.

Knitting lace is challenging, captive and produces such beautiful and fascinating works of art.  When you complete a few rows, it is like unveiling a picture.  You receive a high sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. ...BUT...At the same time lace is slow going, can sometimes require too much attention, it is a pain in the arse to fix a mistake, and requires consulting a chart constantly.  Now some people have the advantage of photographic memory (eh hem, Wendy) ; I actually have photographic memory too...but I'm lacking film.

I also get a sense of anxiety while knitting lace.  Constantly fearing that I've made a major mistake that I won't notice for awhile. Thus, requiring very careful tinking, row by row, because there is no way I'm going to figure out where I made the mistake and how to rip and just put it back on the needles. So being my anal self, I'm constantly counting my stitches to make sure it turned out right before moving on.

Shelley's mind while knitting a lace row (condensed version, but still, be afraid):

YO, k2tog  YO    

Look at pattern.

K3                     

Wait, did I do the last YO?  Look back at knitted stitches.

Lost place in chart, again look back at needle and figure out where I am.

YO, SSK, YO, SK2togP,YO, K2Tog 

Crap, did I pass the stitch? look back.

YO  OK, I can't remember if I did the last YO again, Lose place in pattern again, recount stitches in pattern again.

K3  God how I love the K3, easy, a break, fills up space between difficult stitches.

Frog-tits, I completely forgot my place again, that's easy, look for the K3. Look at wrong K3 and end up having to recalculate.

Repeat above a zillion times.

Finally, I see a stitch marker coming. Anxiety builds.

I Wonder if the stitch count is right? (Sometimes I can't wait to find out, I actually do the math to check.)

YO, SSK, YO

Ooooh, it's looking good.

Dagnabbit, where did I muck up?  Count, tink back, figure where you are in pattern, start again. 

Figure out that you made the mistake two rows back.

Tink back 2 rows. SLOOOOOWLY UNKITTING.

Put it down on coffee table.

I can't take anymore, I will face it tomorrow.

I swear when you do get to the stitch marker and it comes out right, it makes you do a little happy dance in your mind.  And when you finish an entire row and it turns out right...you actually get up and do the happy dance or at least give out a little "alright!" and pat yourself on the back. My usual term to myself, "Ok, got that row."

Now if I saw, or knew someone else was saying all this inside their head for any task other than lace knitting, I'd be getting them an express pass to St. Elizabeths.  Basically, knitting lace will make you nucking futs.

My ticket to the insane asylum:

Comments

[shell]

Oh that looks beautiful. Maybe I should try lace knitting or maybe I am being a tad too ambitious as I'm already nuts enough :)

[Wendy]

I can just see Shelley now: "She Took a Long Cold Look" at her lace . . .

Hee hee hee.

[jess]

I do the exact same thing! How funny. It's looking good! :)

[Chery]

You better quit thinking you're the only NF lace knitter.

[Andrea]

Ooh, that picture really shows off the silken beauty very well. It will be worth the pain. :)

[Deb]

Oh, but it looks so beautiful. (I love, love the color and look of that yarn!) However, I'm still stuck back in your post, laughing at "frog tits" as a curse word (er, phrase).

[Betsey]

I swear you must have been sitting on the couch next to me while I was knitting Branching Out. (which apparently is not that challenging of a lace pattern for most) I counted every other row, and since I was about to develop major anxiety issues over it, I ran a lifeline about every 6 rows (then I could just rip back instead of sloooowwwwllllyyy unknit).

It's beautiful though!

[Ruby]

Your blog is very, very eerie!!!! How did you get in my head and know what I'm thinking as I knit the complicated patterns, both lace and texture, that I like so well (sort of...). I like the challenge and the finished projects - but wonder if I have a little S&M in me to volunteerly subject myself...

[Kathy]

That is hilarious! I do the same thing -- because it's just SUCH a pain to go back. Your FBS is looking awesome.

[Shanti]

You knit lace like I do. Which would explain why I have nothing to show for all the hours I've put into lace for the last year.

[LauraRN]

I'm laughing so much I can hardly type. You have SO captured my dyslexic/ADD/self.

[minnie]

quick question? what fiber are you using? i'm planning on using inspirations yarns cream which is worsted weight silk. i see that the yarn harlot used chai. which is slubby silk. yours looks nice so far.

[Samantha]

It may be your ticket to the insane asylum, but it looks like it might be worth the trip!!